Anthony Weiner is nothing, if not 100% on-brand. From his birth name, to his self-ies (which, here at Self, are usually encouraged) right down to his new pseudonym – Carlos Danger – the former congressman, now mayoral-wannabe has never wavered from his true brand identity – the dick joke. And why should he?
This guy has so much more to gain as a dick joke than he ever could filibustering for New York’s 9th district. Does your kid want to play with the Carlos Danger, Lucha libre action figure or the nerdy, Jewish lawyer from capital hill? With the right licensing deals, Weiner could put his image (his face people, his face) and new name on every lunch box, backpack and skateboard, gracing elementary school playgrounds from sea to commercialized shining sea. Think of the endorsement deals with insurance companies and energy drinks alone.
The whole thing is a goldmine for the disgraced politician and his wife, Huma Abedin. And while the family may be facing a difficult time right now, surely a 12 million dollar compound in the Bahamas and some expensive jewelry could mend some broken hearts.
So we say to you Mr. Former Congressman, if you’re game to cash in, we’re game to help. Let’s do this!